The Days Grimm Podcast

Ep.227 Summer Break - 2025 Float Trip Recap

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This week on The Days Grimm, join hosts Brian and Tom as they take a break from their usual schedule to bring you a special recap of their annual 2025 summer float trip. The duo recounts their adventurous weekend on the Current River in Donovan, Missouri, filled with hilarious mishaps and unforgettable moments. 

The episode kicks off with a story about a stop at a quirky, "redneck Buc-ee's"-style store called Boomland, where a search for the perfect garden gnome ensued. The main event, however, was the "Night of the Raccoons," a wild tale of a campsite invasion by a tactical team of trash pandas. Listen as the hosts describe their face-to-face encounter with a mother raccoon and her army of beady-eyed babies, leading to a late-night Google session on whether raccoons can open zippers and smell sealed Pop-Tarts. 

The adventure continues on the water with a harrowing tale of their tube flotilla getting dangerously tangled in a tree, resulting in a popped tube and a moment of pure helplessness against the river's current. Amidst the chaos, Tom showcases his legendary campfire cooking skills, whipping up everything from steak and rice to giant homemade meatballs. 

Tune in to hear all the details, from funny anecdotes about their fellow campers to brainstorming future float trip ideas like creating a "Current River Pirates" flag and training a raccoon army. It's a classic episode of bullshitting and reminiscing that gives listeners a behind-the-scenes look at the hosts' yearly tradition. 

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Speaker 04:

out.

Speaker 00:

Oh

Speaker 02:

Hello, hello, hello everyone and welcome to another thrilling episode of The Day's Grimm. My name is Brian Michael Day.

Speaker 01:

My name is Thomas Grimm.

Speaker 02:

My voice sounds like shit. I'm really sorry in advance, everybody. I think most people don't tolerate my voice well normally and now it's like even more cringy, so it'll be fine. Too much river water for you? Yeah, I drank a lot of river water. That's what happens when, this is what your voice sounds like when you drink river water from Flint, Michigan.

Speaker 01:

The Indian guy that owns the dollar store across the street from my work, he'll be like, I drank too much muddy Yeah,

Speaker 02:

dude.

Speaker 01:

every now and then we take a weekend off but like every year you can expect that we take a weekend float trip yeah it's a religious thing and we normally don't record an episode

Speaker 02:

no usually I think last year was like me in a chair in the center of the room and it looked like a hostage negotiation

Speaker 01:

video I think so and you were just like yo we floated

Speaker 02:

also fun fact when you record shout out to all the people that record podcasts that are just them talking by themselves because That is an awkward feeling when you flip a camera on. You know what I mean? It's just you in a room with your thoughts. I

Speaker 01:

know. I couldn't do the podcast without you.

Speaker 02:

Boy. I could, but it would be uncomfortable for a long time, dude. So anyways, yeah, we're taking the week off. So sorry about that in advance.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, but... We're kind of not taking a week off. Yeah, we grind. The grind is constant. In like a weird way. We had some funny little bits we might be able to talk about in this little episode. Absolutely. But I guess we were just kind of reminiscing on the old days, just you and I bullshitting, figured give them something.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and also I wanted to show off this extremely bulbous greenery that we have here in front of me. It's just super lush, looking really healthy. But yeah, so this year we did the Casey's on the Current float again. Uh, beautiful spot. If you've never been in Donovan, Missouri.

Speaker 01:

Yeah. So we, we drove out separate groups. Three,

Speaker 02:

three chalks. No, four chalks. Yeah.

Speaker 01:

And then, uh, my group left early, but we stopped at like boom land. You ever heard of boom land? Hold

Speaker 03:

on.

Speaker 02:

Hold on. I think, I

Speaker 01:

don't know if he's in, yeah,

Speaker 02:

he's in shot. Yeah. He's in shot. Yeah. But anyway,

Speaker 01:

he's

Speaker 02:

on with

Speaker 01:

boom land. Well, so like the, the driver, uh, We went with, they were like, we're going, but we're stopping at Boomland. And I'm like, like the fireworks store? And they were like, yeah, but it's like...

Speaker 02:

But also...

Speaker 01:

It's like, how they describe it. They said it was like...

Speaker 02:

You mentioned...

Speaker 01:

Buckies. They said it was like a redneck buckies.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, like a knockoff buckies.

Speaker 01:

Yeah. Okay. So they had like a whole food court area on the side. Then they had like a snack area. Yeah. Like your typical gas station goods, but not like... There was no bread over there. There was no... It was just drinks and odd snacks and candy. Then you had, like, house decor, which was just, like, everything. I think, like, oh, I didn't send it to you. I sent it to Tim. There was, like, a 9-11 holographic, like, framed picture. Oh,

Speaker 02:

you sent me. Yeah, you sent

Speaker 01:

that to me. And then, like, there was, like, a little African-American doll guy, like, peeing into a toilet. I'm going to plug all these in the episode, as I'm saying. Yeah, so

Speaker 02:

you're seeing this on screen, hopefully, as we speak.

Speaker 01:

But then you were like, yo, I need to know...

Speaker 02:

We need a

Speaker 01:

gnome.

Speaker 02:

Welcome, Gregory.

Speaker 01:

Oh, his mic wasn't on.

Speaker 02:

Shout out to the Pablo episode.

Speaker 01:

But it was funny because like I FaceTimed you and I was like, yo, there's like six gnomes here, dog. One's laying on his back with his mouth open like he's about to take a load. Like we could get this one and put like a fucking dildo in his mouth or something and like have that in

Speaker 02:

the studio. Dude, is there a market for gnome accessories? Because I feel like if there's not, there's, look up lawn gnome accessories. It's G-N-N-O-M-E, yep. Accessories. Can I accessorize my lawn gnome? Is that possible? Like put some tattoos on them, maybe a headset and a microphone? I don't know. Because I feel like if there's not, if people aren't doing this, then I feel like, okay, there's a little sand table. That's pretty neat. Okay. I feel like you should be able to accessorize your lawn gnome. You know what I mean?

Speaker 01:

Yeah, I think people just buy gnomes specified to like what they want. Like if they wanted a stoner yard gnome versus like a bee. It's got a joint in its hand already. Yeah. They had some of those there.

Speaker 02:

Damn, we should have got the stoner one.

Speaker 01:

But anyway, I like the one we picked. Yeah, dude. I tried to FaceTime you when you were driving, and of course, it just goes through regular phone call mode, and you can't see shit.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and you were very upset about that. So then it took us nine to 12 minutes to figure out how to FaceTime one another. And we did get it figured out, and you sent me two gnomes. One was the one with his mouth open, ready for a penis.

Speaker 01:

Yep, insert photo.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and then the other one was our dearest Gregory over here. Um, also insert photo here for a closeup of Gregory. Um, he's a cute fellow though. So really glad that you made the stop at boom land.

Speaker 01:

Uh,

Speaker 02:

did you notice that there was like an odd amount of like, uh, Amish goods there? Not really. No? No. I find that when I go to those bigger spots, like as you're traveling in the Midwest or even further south.

Speaker 01:

It kind of gets more Vindermal-y as you go. It

Speaker 02:

gets more Amish-y the further you go along and the bigger that the joint

Speaker 01:

gets. The Amish are really living, though.

Speaker 02:

Well, they're killing it on sales and gas stations. And diabetes.

Unknown:

Pfft.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, dude, chocolate covered everything.

Speaker 01:

Well, I was just talking about they're like not fat compared to the rest of the world.

Speaker 02:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true because they fucking just carry barns.

Speaker 01:

So we get there. Yep, we did. And we're all set up. Day

Speaker 02:

one was a real rush for some of us.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, we get there and like every year it's like a rush to get your tent up. Yep, yep. And then the girls all go get margaritas, yearly tradition, and they come out fucked up. They come back.

Speaker 02:

They came back to us already fucked up.

Speaker 01:

Yeah.

Speaker 02:

Which is

Speaker 01:

legal. I guess I cook dinner on the fire.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and you are notorious for that. For folks that don't have somebody like Tom, find you a Tom. Cause, uh, normally years before when I would go on these floats, I've been doing it for about 13 years now. I've just brought Tom on the last two or three, three, actually, I think now three consecutively. And, uh, we would just survive on like pop tarts and beef jerky. And like, that's just how I roll. Um, but Tom over here is all about the spread, right? And he'll bust out his little cast iron skillet. He'll fucking whip up some eggs, some sausage. He'll fucking kill a rabbit in the woods, skin it, fucking throw that on the fire. But yeah, he's all about the spread, like gourmet on the fire. And that's my favorite quality about camping with you.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 02:

Yeah,

Speaker 01:

dude. So we did that. We had a good time the first night up late, just like grinding.

Unknown:

Yeah.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and then that, this brings me to my next point. Go to the Google search, because we need to talk about this.

Speaker 01:

Okay, so. Let's get into it. So we're laying there at night. I think you guys had already gone to bed at first.

Speaker 02:

One, two in the morning, yeah. One,

Speaker 01:

two in the morning. And Lexi and I go to the tent. Yep. And we're laying there. And then all of a sudden, she's like, did you hear that? I'm like, no, I don't hear anything. And then I start hearing the side of the tent rustle. I'm like, what the fuck? So I sit upright. And then next thing I know, there's like claws, like nails I can see through the side of my tent trying to reach this bread that's right there.

Speaker 02:

Oh, God.

Speaker 01:

And I'm like, oh, there's a raccoon. So I hit the tent and I'm like, yeah, get out of here or whatever. And I called Tim because he's at the fire. And I'm like, yo, there's some coons out here.

Speaker 02:

We're being invaded.

Speaker 01:

And then it all went downhill from there. I think you got woken up at that point.

Speaker 02:

I woke up to a skinwalker in my tent by a skinwalker. I mean, it was my sister-in-law, and I was dazed and confused, very didn't know what was happening in a haze. I was, like, trying to wake up, couldn't see shit. It was dark as hell.

Speaker 01:

And what's crazy is, like, I cooked that one meal, like, chicken and rice and steak and everything. Yeah. But then, like, there wasn't any leftover. Like, there was nothing. Yeah,

Speaker 02:

there was nothing, like, sitting out. Right. They were just there for, like... frequent flyer miles. That's just like their watering hole. Their spot. Yeah. I guess we impeded on their personal space is what it really seemed like. Let me get one of those puppies, dude.

Speaker 01:

But yeah, I remember just listening to y'all. That's what I fell asleep to was Night One of the Raccoons.

Speaker 02:

Well, Night One of the Raccoons was the apex of the raccoons because I'll tell you, as you were dozing off, it was about, again, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock in the morning that I was woken up to a skinwalker in my tent. And I figured out, I finally equilibrated, figure out what was going on. And the girls were trying to take a piss. They were trying to go to the trucks to go pee. Right. So, but as I'm like, okay, I'm figuring out what's going on. And then Kelsey's like the one standing in front of me in the middle of the night, dark. And I couldn't see shit. She was like, Hey, I got to take a piss, but there's, there's raccoons out here. And I was like, just registering everything, all this information. I was like, all right, I'll kill a raccoon. You know what I mean? I was like up on my feet, ready to go. I was like, Kelsey, get the fuck

Speaker 01:

out of the way. Knife out. Ready to murder. Paint already on.

Speaker 02:

so I get the fuck out of my tent and I'm like fucking there's literally a coon like five feet away from me and it just scurries off and I was like what the fuck is and it was a big bitch too right it was clearly the mother I think anyway so like Jake finally gets out of his tent now we're corralling mama coon and we get like we get her under a

Speaker 01:

table we have two infantry men yeah two retards out there like four women trying to wrangle a fucking mom

Speaker 02:

coon and we get her under the picnic table dude and where I am facing towards the tents right we were set up in like a u-shape and then we're facing the tents with this fucking with this coon under this table mama coon and jake's shining hitting her with the light and she's got a bag of kit kats and i'm trying to like figure out how i can get a hold of her and then like i panicked and i was like also jake i looked over at him i was like jake Check my six. And he takes the light, shines it back into the behind, out facing out of the you, into the wood line. And I turn around and look, 10 beady eyes, dude, just all in the woods. I was like,

Speaker 01:

Jake. Five more cans.

Speaker 02:

I was like, Jake, we're fucking surrounded.

Speaker 01:

Dude, it was bad.

Speaker 02:

They were like tactically positioning themselves on

Speaker 01:

us. Dude, what was also even crazy is we were just sitting there around the fire and like those six helicopters flew over. Military formation out of nowhere. That was a bad time to do it too. Right. Right, dog. I'm already lit. I'm already lit. out there in the universe. What did

Speaker 02:

you say to me? You were like, I wasn't worried about the helicopters. I was worried about the implication of the helicopters.

Speaker 01:

Right. I immediately got on X.com and was like, yo, did we get attacked? I'm not hearing the sticks, dog.

Speaker 02:

No, dude. And I was just enjoying it because I love a good Blackhawk floating overhead. You know what I'm saying? Right. Big Blackhawk fan. But anyways. Yeah, so anyways, now on to the topic at hand. So what I wanted to spend a little bit of time on was raccoons. Now, they can be domesticated, which I think Mama Coon was pretty damn close. They can.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, to a degree, but then everything I've seen and all the people I know that have rescued baby coons and nursed them back to life. After two or three

Speaker 02:

years, they

Speaker 01:

get weird. Yeah, they revert back to their primal ways and they'll dig through your cabinets and your drywall. Which we've talked about on the podcast. They have opposable thumbs.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and it's like their way of aging. It's just like when humans age, they start to regress to their childhood or whatever. Anyways, my thought, Jake and I had... We were both on board. We were like, dude, what if we started our own raccoon army? Like, if we could just teach them how to use sticks and firearms.

Speaker 01:

I mean, maybe. They basically eat anything. You know, nickname the trash panda. Yeah, they are opportunistic eaters. They seem to wash their food before eating it, which would make sense. They kind of came up from that little creek bed where water flows on the backside. Cleanliness

Speaker 02:

is next to

Speaker 01:

godliness. You know what? I pissed kind of around my corner of the campsite, marking my territory. And that raccoon still came right up in that shit. And I've been watching... I'm a big fan of Naked and Afraid, Alone, those type of shows. Do they say to

Speaker 02:

do that? Piss around

Speaker 01:

your... No, but I've been watching... The new one just came out, Naked and Afraid Apocalypse. where they drop off these four groups of people. There's three people, and each group's 12 people. They drop them off in South Africa in some worn, torn village that nobody's in. I've seen the promo for this. There's a big

Speaker 02:

cat on the promo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a panther, yeah.

Speaker 01:

But basically, they were taking... And putting it around so like it would wake them up, but also form a perimeter. And like when that raccoon came up, I was like, yo, do I need to get out there and build like a fucking thorny little perimeter around my tent?

Speaker 02:

See, now my goal was before Mama Coon took off with the Kit Kat bag, which

Speaker 01:

she said she like backed away.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, she had it in both hands and was like walking backwards like a little circus bear. And I was like, wow, this is fucking

Speaker 01:

crazy. What if we can't bring a fishing net and catch a raccoon next year?

Speaker 02:

And then mount it. That's important. So, Secondly, well, my thought was, damn, I had a thought. But no, it was crazy that she got that close to us. And then she eventually ate. I had like a bag of chips.

Speaker 01:

And they took the top off the storage tote and got like two bags of hot dog buns.

Speaker 02:

God, those fucking cunts. Right. Oh, I know what my point was going to be. My fear was that or my goal was that I was going to get my hands on Mama Coon. Or whatever, A-P-C-P-C-A. But I was going to fucking leave her on the fucking... As like a warning to the fel... You know

Speaker 01:

what I mean? Like the medieval ages.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, dude. Like, watch out. This place is not welcoming

Speaker 01:

for raccoons. Well, I thought about like... You know, I'm big on pranks when we go camping. Did you do a little prayer? No. I was just thinking of like... I should have prayed. No, I said pranks.

Speaker 02:

Oh, I thought you said prayer. No, pranks. Okay,

Speaker 01:

yeah, yeah. So the next day, I cooked breakfast, and I dumped breakfast out on the far corner where nobody was camping.

Unknown:

Yeah.

Speaker 01:

And then like, I was thinking, I was like, damn, I should like low key have put food like behind Tim and Mathis's tent and had them like, like right in the wood line right there. But they would have like came up right by the, that would have been funny. Maybe next

Speaker 02:

year.

Speaker 01:

But like I did then eventually start strategically dumping my food. Like, towards the other campsite.

Speaker 02:

Now, I will say, fun fact, that we were Googling in my tent once the whole fiasco had kind of died down and Mama Kun took off with her Kit Kats. We were kind of like at peace and we had like drawn the line in the sand and she kind of disappeared. She was like rustling around the edge of the perimeter of our campsite for a while, and then what would happen would be I would be falling asleep, and then Kristen would wake me up. She'd be like, did you hear that? And I would listen, and it would be them rustling around like fucking or fighting. So then she was like, I wonder if they can smell the sealed Pop-Tarts. And then she had Kelsey, her twin, was in our tent. She said, Kelsey, Google it right now. Google, can they smell the closed up sealed Pop-Tarts? And she did. And it unfortunately is true that raccoons can smell a Pop-Tart through a sealed bag and a sealed box.

Speaker 01:

So really, you're pro-raccoon for police animals.

Speaker 02:

100%. Use

Speaker 01:

the trash pandas that look like burglars to bust the burglars.

Speaker 02:

But it was just funny that we Googled all these facts. We Googled, can raccoons operate a zipper? And we found out that they could. And it was just like we kept getting more and more unfortunate news as we kept Googling, can raccoons do And from my limited research in the middle of the woods about raccoons on Google is that they're essentially human beings just on a smaller scale.

Speaker 01:

Basically, their forepaws are particularly dexterous and actually look and work like slender human hands.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, they're fucking terrifying. And that's weird that they say they stick to themselves because they were traveling in a pack and they were also not afraid to come up to us. At least the mama wasn't. The babies were fucking hanging back.

Speaker 01:

Apparently, they have lots of babies. They breed once per year, but a female can give birth to three to four on

Speaker 02:

average. Raccoons, marsupials, I forget. Do they have the pouch that they carry their young in? I don't know. I don't think they do. I think they ride their mama's back is how it goes. I love that this is treehugger.com, by the way, that we're getting these facts from. Oh, yeah. Yeah, got to cite your sources.

Speaker 01:

They carry a lot of diseases, of course. Yeah, they're

Speaker 02:

absolutely disgusting. And that's why if one did, if it was going to charge me, I was 100% ready to kill it. And that was my goal. And Mama Coon was just very docile. She just wanted to eat and hang out and then say, what's up, dab you up, and then roll out.

Speaker 01:

And she basically did that. They're mammals.

Speaker 02:

They're mammals? Okay. Now that I think of it, I think I remember seeing some pictures of baby raccoons.

Speaker 01:

Raccoons can live up to 16 years in the wild, but most die before reaching five years.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, distemper. They'll get distemper, they'll get rabid, and then they get real cagey too. I've trapped a lot of coons in my day living out on the county line and they are fucking ferocious animals when they are distemper or when they are rabid. Have you ever trapped a coon before? They're fucking

Speaker 01:

terrifying. Possums. I think we've trapped. I can't remember. Possums are

Speaker 02:

chill in the trap, dude. Possums will just lay there and then they'll like, look up at you. Coons will literally, they're willing to lose their life and limb to get out of that cage. They're fucking terrifying. Um, we've had to shoot them from afar or like take main cages, crack the cage, drop them somewhere else. But like, Yeah, there's no way I'm comfortable with opening a cage, a trapped raccoon. Yeah, they're fucking wild. So that was night number one. And

Speaker 01:

then we wake up and it throws me off every year when we wake up and we're like packing to go. And then like the state troopers roll through the campgrounds every year. And I'm just like,

Speaker 02:

yeah, I'm guilty. Whatever. Why are they here? Why are they here? If they rolled up onto our site, I would be like, he has all the...

Speaker 01:

It's just weird. But then it's cool that we get picked up, but every year we get a bunch of random people on the bus.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, and then the bus driver, this go-around that took us upriver, low-key, kind of a bummer. Kind of a real not smoke show. Just kind of real bland. Like somebody heard him. You know what I mean? Like he seemed

Speaker 01:

like a sad boy. There were several times where I'm like, yeah, this bus is not making it up this hill. And then he'd come flying down it and hit all the corners. I'm like, what the

Speaker 02:

fuck? Yeah, he did not fuck around. He probably flew helicopters in Vietnam. That was at the rate at which we were driving this bus. Yeah, it checks out. so he was probably a Huey pilot in his day but yeah he was real calm and didn't make a lot of jokes which I don't care for because the bus ride is always gnarly it is just you're traveling through

Speaker 01:

the hills of Missouri it's like one of my most anxious parts of the trip

Speaker 02:

yeah and especially were you there the year that our bus caught fire no that was the year before yeah dude having been through that now I have PTSD from that you know what I mean right

Speaker 01:

so we get

Speaker 02:

well

Speaker 01:

Casey's on the current so they like they pick us up on the bus can you pull up their website actually just go to their website they pick us up on the bus they try to drive us up river yeah they drive us up river and then 10 miles they have all our tubes ready for us by the water yeah we load up We tie off, which you're not supposed to

Speaker 02:

do. It's illegal. Yeah, man. And this year we didn't tie everybody off, which was nice. Everybody just seemed to. But the cool thing about it. And if you've never we've never really done an episode about the float before. So it's kind of fun that we're doing this. But like if you've never done a lazy river, I know they have one in blue in Kentucky, like blue rivers close and you can do a lazy float there. Yeah. Um, but Casey on the current is the one I've gone to 13 years in a row and it's just so much fun. There's like five different companies you can float with. They give you like a cooler tube like that is designed specifically

Speaker 01:

for a cooler. There's gotta be a way in my head that like when we tie off in the future, like there's gotta be a way to where it's just like a cooler in the middle and then a couple on each side.

Speaker 02:

Yeah.

Speaker 01:

Yeah. and maybe tied with like one corner and towards it so like they could put their feet on the cooler thing and then you can just hold on to the other people and just be grouped or like occasionally tie off that way if something does happen like you can just break off and be with your significant other and kind of

Speaker 02:

yeah the key is quick release and i wanted this year to do d-rings and i i'm i'm regretting well

Speaker 01:

but like the bungee cords that we've been using is better than rope like was previously yeah

Speaker 02:

because you can pull the bungee get slack and unhook hook

Speaker 01:

well and they're quick like if you tie a knot on your float and then you just use those to attach and then you need to quick detach to whatever you can pop it off

Speaker 02:

but essentially what we're getting at here is like you have like a group we had a group of 12 11 we

Speaker 01:

should have taken a photo with that float

Speaker 02:

um with the float

Speaker 01:

yeah so like we go we make a few stops along the way we're all pretty buzzed yeah and we're like halfway yeah and we're floating and the uh there's like what a group of like four girls in front of us that are not attached to the group yes and then there's jake and i going backwards so we can't see anything that's coming

Speaker 02:

yeah

Speaker 01:

and we just got next to you and jake and i are going backwards and we hear there's a tree behind us yeah and jake just lets go

Speaker 02:

he said let god

Speaker 01:

and i was holding on to jake's float trying to stay on to the groove of the grind. And Jake just lets go of the group.

Speaker 02:

He said, God, God's got me.

Speaker 01:

Right. So then I'm like, ha ha ha, you know, whatever. And then I, we turn around and kick off the little tree and I'm like, Oh, fuck. Jake and I both see what's coming. And it's literally the group tubes with the coolers in the middle, the girls on the left, and Brian and the guys on the right. Yeah, we're about to get hit dead center. And dead center of that tree, it just hits and it just starts wrapping around and bungeeing around. And Jake and I at this point... get down in our tube and we're like gonna kick like we're gonna swim towards the group and the current's just way too strong I never felt more hopeless in my life like there was nothing I could do about that situation

Speaker 02:

there is something to be said about and you could look up like fluid dynamics of like fucking heavy flowing rivers or whatever I don't know what you'd have to search but like when you get snagged up on a tree you don't feel the current when you're just out in open water cruising

Speaker 01:

that was where the current was the most the entire trip was like this one

Speaker 02:

right there but But when you have that tree sticking out, when you have a stationary object and you're hung on it and that water's yanking, then you really feel that current. Right. And it was fierce, dude.

Speaker 01:

It was fight or flight for you guys.

Speaker 02:

Well, I lost. Okay. So fast forward just a couple of moments. So I was penetrated. I did get penetrated. Uh, this tree penetrated my tube.

Speaker 01:

Yeah. Your tree popped.

Speaker 02:

Yeah. Good size

Speaker 01:

hole. The little intro on this video. Yeah.

Speaker 02:

Yeah. So

Speaker 01:

which is what we should have taken a photo with when we got regrouped on the Island. We should have taken a rest in peace to like a trophy photo. You know what I'm saying? Should have, should have. So then from there we kind of reloaded. You wrote actually on the cooler the rest of the way, not saddle style, another quarter of the way till we could regroup as a whole party.

Speaker 02:

Yeah. Saddle style. I was out there like a goddamn Navy SEAL. fucking Navy SEAL fucking cowboy.

Speaker 01:

And we had to reorganize and we had to put somebody that was way too drunk in a tube.

Speaker 02:

She threw up on herself. Yes, she

Speaker 01:

did. In a cooler tube. Yep. And we just floated back. the rest of the way after that. I thought when you're out on the water every now and then you see the state police patrolling the water too, which is kind of weird. There's boats out there which they should probably patrol to bust the boats. It is weird when you're just floating. I've been like, damn, you never also felt more hopeless out there. Nowhere to run. You can't even dump anything because it floats. You just got to

Speaker 02:

hurry up and eat it. Right.

Speaker 01:

But, like, seeing them out there or whatever is just, like, a weird, like, experience or two. But I thought they were going to stop because, like, I feel like every person needs a flotation device. Like, if you're in a kayak out there... I was just

Speaker 02:

out there riding on a cooler.

Speaker 01:

Right.

Speaker 02:

I'm surprised they didn't,

Speaker 01:

like... And, like, the guy stopped and, like, one of them pulled up his, like... Opened his computer as he drove by, and I was like, yep. Is it? Yep. And then nothing happened, but we loaded up from there and went back.

Speaker 02:

We talked about it on the river. I was like, low-key, I kind of wish that state troop would have been like, hey, are you all right? And then you were like, no, I'm fucking glad he didn't. But all I could think about was like, how the fuck am I going to finish this float on a fucking... Tube, and then that was when, like you said, we linked up, and then we reconsolidated some shit. We got the CASVAC together. We found out we had lost a soldier, i.e. her name. We'll maybe edit that out. But yeah, so we loaded her up in the CASVAC on the cooler float, and then I wound up with a tube again. But God, that was a fucking mess, dude. But then we end the float. We hit our bank. and took a quick little bus ride back to our campsite.

Speaker 01:

Which I convinced the guy to drop us off so we could poop.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, it was nice. It was real, real nice. That guy that dropped us off, way better than the first

Speaker 01:

guy. That was the same guy from last year, too, that drove us back.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, I think one of the girls tried to bribe him with her breasts, I think, and he said, I have those at home or something,

Speaker 01:

remember? Something like that, yeah. I got dropped off at the bathroom. And then for dinner, I did homemade meatballs on the fire.

Speaker 02:

Oh, they're so good. these meatballs are literally the size of a fucking softball oh

Speaker 01:

and then i convinced everybody that they were hungry again as they were tired just to stay awake just so i could cook again

Speaker 02:

oh yeah you always bring way too much food

Speaker 01:

yeah no i try to cook it all that next morning it's like yo here's a big breakfast try not to shit your brains out on the ride home

Speaker 02:

yeah and we we uh that night i remember just being rather drunk and i was like i think i laid down around 11 midnight or something while other people stayed up and drank or whatever on the fire, but I feel like we had some encounter, some coon encounters.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, they came back that night, but they were way more quiet. They were like, yo, people are here. Yeah. People put up a fight.

Speaker 02:

Yeah. They were like, all right, these guys aren't pushovers.

Speaker 01:

But also they had like, what, three leftover meatballs, some leftover chicken that I had tossed out. Oh, damn. You know what I mean? They had other stuff to...

Speaker 02:

Okay.

Speaker 01:

Other stuff to fuck

Speaker 02:

with. I'll tell you what, those

Speaker 01:

sons of bitches... Which I'm pretty sure they say you're not supposed to do, but like...

Speaker 02:

They're hungry, bro. Yeah. Yeah, whatever.

Speaker 01:

What am I going to do with this leftover food? Throw it away? Like, that's just a waste.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, I know. And the low-key, the mama coon was kind of cute up close. I would have hated to have had to have killed her, but I was mentally prepared to do so. But yeah, she was super cute. Glad they were able to get some grub.

Speaker 01:

I was trying to think of some of these funny little jokes that we came up with that we didn't write down.

Speaker 02:

Well, we definitely talked. I don't want to ruin mine because I'm going to bring it up on a comedy cachet. But it has to do with school shootings. Yeah. I don't want to ruin it, but we could talk about it, I guess. No, no, no. Save it. Save it. Okay. Yeah. But that one we kind of went on a tangent with. I know we talked about starting a coon army.

Speaker 01:

Oh, no. We did talk about one thing about how I cough a lot. How I die every time. Yeah, every

Speaker 02:

time you're messing with paraphernalia.

Speaker 01:

And I was talking about how I hope with modern technology in the future I can get an oxygen tank with like a THC dispenser to the side. And just walk around bliss. 80% oxygen, 20% THC all the time. Keep me right.

Speaker 02:

I don't think... You know, it's funny. Water doesn't even help my voice at this point.

Speaker 01:

Yeah.

Speaker 02:

That's

Speaker 01:

another

Speaker 02:

thing is like there's so much yelling because like your parties...

Speaker 01:

I feel like you weren't even like that... wild this year compared to the previous years I

Speaker 02:

know but we got so separated so many times I found myself like yelling down river like a hundred or more yards and it's just so hard to like make your voice carry that far away

Speaker 01:

yeah but you know if you have a fucking Apple watch and if the other people use their walkie talkie app oh I

Speaker 02:

didn't even think about that

Speaker 01:

yeah

Speaker 02:

why didn't we think

Speaker 01:

you know

Speaker 02:

what

Speaker 01:

next year megaphone even better well that would get wet as fuck probably I think the watch thing is probably the better Better idea. How many years away are you from getting a flagpole with a flag? For the float? Yeah.

Speaker 02:

Not. I'm there next year. I never even thought about it until now. Can we get a pirate's flag?

Speaker 01:

Whatever.

Speaker 02:

And then we start stealing people's tubes from the bank.

Speaker 01:

Start putting them in the water while they're on the bank. It's just empty tubes flowing down.

Speaker 02:

We are the pirates of the fucking current, dude. Oh, that's happening next year. Current River Pirates, patented by yours truly, the Days Grimm Podcast. Yeah, dude, I think a flagpole would be tits, dude, but how would you mount it?

Speaker 01:

I mean, you just have to get some sort of flagpole and then maybe like some cooler attachment or... Ooh,

Speaker 02:

yep. Mount it to the cooler like a little bracket on the side. Or something. Throw some screws through it and then you just mount your pirate flag. You are a fucking genius.

Speaker 01:

I don't get my due credit.

Speaker 02:

No, you really don't. God damn. Make a note. Jot that down. What am I jotting

Speaker 01:

down? Pirate flag next year. Tom needs due credit.

Speaker 02:

Oh, dude. But yeah, all in all, man, yeah, second night was smooth. Went to bed way earlier. Woke up, stretched out. The worst part, worst part about doing the Casey's or, you know, just floating on Current River, and I don't know if you experienced this. Did you sleep on an air mattress? No. So we did. We've done it now three years in a row now. The air mattress is nice, all right? No rocks in your back or your neck. It's still not ideal,

Speaker 01:

but it's... Maybe you have to wake up in the middle of the night and turn it on. It's...

Speaker 02:

What?

Speaker 01:

eventually you'll hit a point where you have to wake up in the middle of the night, turn your air mattress on, Get off the ground a little bit.

Speaker 02:

Oh, no. Ours held. We just have a little baby one. It's only a couple inches tall. But anyways, it's just enough to keep you off the ground. And it holds good. But that being said, when I woke up the fucking, what would that be? Sunday morning at like 9 a.m. And you were already cooking or getting ready to cook. I like woke up and Chris is like, hey, are you going to get out of bed? And I was like, yeah, I think so. And I like my eyes were super heavy because I'd been drinking all day yesterday. And I like wake up. I sit up in the air mattress. And as I sit up, because it's an air mattress. and you're kind of like wobbly. And I was like, am I still fucked up? I felt like I was back on the river. So word of warning, if you're sleeping on an air mattress, you're going to feel like you're floating on the river when you wake up and you might still be fucked up.

Speaker 01:

Yeah. And I woke everybody up to some AI Motown.

Speaker 02:

I love it, dude. Can we outro on that? Do you have some of that pulled up? We need to outro on that. So I'll let you work on that as we draw to a conclusion here. But yeah, so for all of you that have, oh damn, I forgot our fucking tube's not working. Oh, mother fuck. We're not going to be able to do it, are we? I don't know. Do you have one in the queue on tunes? See if you have one in the queue on tunes. Kind of. But yeah, for all of you that have heard about us taking these weeks off for these float trips, this is what we're experiencing. And it's a hell of a time. If you've never done it, get down to Missouri. There's like five different people you can float with. There's like Rocky River. It's

Speaker 01:

good to take time in nature and disconnect. Also, like, I mean... You can't use your phone. Well, yeah, but like we came back and we were like, all right, we got like these ideas for the pod.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, dude. It was not... It's nice to unplug. There's limited cell phone usage. I didn't even look at my cell phone really at all to send a Snapchat. So I made sure I kept my streaks. But other than that, I didn't even look at my phone. It was just all love, all human interaction, all nature interaction.

Speaker 01:

My rabbit had babies while we were gone.

Speaker 02:

So many dogs on the river this year. I loved that. Loved seeing a dog on the water. um yeah it's just really really great to get out there so if you're into that dude if that sounds like fun get down there man because uh supporting those businesses is huge um i'm trying to think my main takeaway from the uh float trip this year was uh yeah honestly coon interaction

Speaker 01:

yeah

Speaker 02:

coon on human human coon human interaction

Speaker 01:

Gotcha.

Speaker 02:

Yeah, I want more of it. I want to start a raccoon army, and I think Jake is going to support me in that goal.

Speaker 01:

Yeah, and you're just going to start giving raccoons acid and brainwash them. What was that, Chaos Book or whatever it was?

Speaker 02:

MKUltra. Yeah. I'm going to start my own raccoon MKUltra program in southern Indiana. There's plenty of them here, folks. What was your number one takeaway from this year's Current River trip?

Speaker 01:

Just how insignificant we are, you know?

Speaker 02:

Nice. Very not depressing.

Speaker 01:

Uh, no, I'm just talking about in general, like humans, you know, in general, like you're out there in the water surrounded by all this nature and then like, you think about it and you're just like, like the current, like when that situation happened, it's like, yo, like I was helpless in this situation. Like that's insignificant. You know what I mean? Like, like, something could have happened there. And then like, yeah, it would have been sad for the like people directly involved, but when it mattered longterm,

Speaker 02:

one really important note, we should mention, uh, to your point, that river can be dangerous. People do die on that river. It is shallow. That water moves fast. If you are going to go and you are going to drink, do it responsibly because people die on that river all the time. They get caught up on ropes and trees and they fucking drown. So like drink, have a good time, but also pay the fuck attention to everything around you and, and, hopefully you know how to swim. Yeah. Stay coherent enough to be able to doggy paddle. That's important. Yeah. That is very fucking

Speaker 01:

keep your head above water.

Speaker 02:

Yeah. Somebody else. I'll send my buddy Tim to come save you. He's basically a lifeguard. Amen. Yeah, man. So I love you, Tom. Love you. Long time. This has been another thrilling episode of the day's grim unless I'm missing something.

Speaker 01:

No. This has been another one. This is for the fans. We thought you deserved more than that. A little

Speaker 02:

BTS, dude. A little BTS behind the scenes of why the fuck are we not getting a podcast this week. Now, here we are. We're going to outro on some Motown. What are we outroing on? What is this?

Speaker 01:

This is March Madness by Future Dunn and Motown.

Speaker 02:

Oh, yeah, brother. I love you so much. Another good year, brother. All right.

Speaker 00:

Thank you, guys. Goodbye. All right. Like I'm playin' for the Mavericks I don't wanna fuck the bitch, the molly made me fuck her even though she average Dirty money in a cup, 45 by my gut My young nigga in a cut, take you out for some joints This cop is money, no rush, I'm on a one-way flush Loud paint smellin' mustard You fuckin' ponies can't touch me You fuckin' ponies can't touch me You fuckin' niggas can't touch me I apply the pressure with the VVS I drive the Ford like it was a Chevy Drive the Ford like it was a Chevy Lift it up and on an offset Fuck a Cougar like she had a baby Future hitters, dirty Sprite legendary Throw that summer in a style phone We the ones that kept it cool with all these niggas till these niggas start actin' Shoot a nigga like a film in a movie, nigga, gon' let him have it All in like the March Madness, all these cops shootin' niggas The city we move post up and I need to shoot us a move Post up and I need to shoot us a movie Take the tune aside the club just in case I never ever gotta use it. You're afraid of coming for me I don't wanna fuck the bitch the mother made me fuck